Happy mind resides in a happy body. I had never taken this seriously. Meditation made me more sensual, also more sensitive.
I meet Paz and this is the first time I discuss my meditation journey with another person who is just as into it. Paz has been on a spiritual journey for over a decade. She has travelled to India, Japan, and several other countries discovering spirituality. Normally Tantra would raise my BS alarm, but Paz confirmed that what I was experiencing by being in the present moment is exactly what Tantra is about. Tantra uses energy to talk about this.
When I was getting started on Mindfulness, I read about “impermanence” as one of the core concepts in Buddhism. Nothing lasts forever. Similarly Tantra (and Vipassana meditation) talk about how the state of energy in our body (think of it as the state of your mind, and the associated physical sensations) is ever-changing. Some of us get stuck in certain states of mind (and certain associated sensations in the body). This is when we resist. Think of anger, frustration, rumination. We get caught in the story. We want to solve the problem but mentally. Our body, no one taught us when growing up, how to interpret the body. We spent a lot of time in school learning analytical skills. This is why we have the jobs we have.
If I ask you to think of a situation where you were dead tired after work and fuming on that driver who cut you off on the way home, if you are the kind who gets stuck in thought loops, you would be angry right now. How is that emotion that should have disappeared by now still in you? This could be why you always feel a certain way with certain triggers. You have held onto some strong emotions. Neural connections. We are human beings but this is unconscious behavior. We are no different than a scared cat, when it looks at itself in the mirror, when we are stuck with these strong emotions. And there is no embarrassment or shame as this is how we evolved to be. This protects us from danger.
But most of what we experience in modern urban life does not qualify as danger. Being socially shunned in a tribe thousands of years ago would have meant difficult life ahead, probably even death. But today, you can always find another group of people to hang out with. Some parts of our brain haven’t evolved fast enough. The emotional brain. Most of us don’t know how to handle it. We can handle it by running away, fighting, numbing ourselves, and suffering years later.
Anyways let me cut to the chase. If we set aside some time, half an hour, a day, to let go of all our goals (temporarily), and imagine that you are in a nice peaceful place, sit down and all you have to do is observe the physical sensations in your body or anything in the present moment (contacts of your body), and rest yourself in it. There will be thoughts. Come back to the physical sensations. There will be pain. Observe it. If there is pain in certain muscles of your body, go fully into it. Explore it. Notice the resistance. You are resisting something. Let it go, and observe it. In sometime, the sensations clear, as if there is a clear blue sky. This learning helps you realize that experiences are temporary. By being in the present moment, you can move on, move on to new experiences.
So began my infatuation with the body-mind connection. This is still a journey in progress. I am experimenting with semen retention. 49 days of no ejaculation. I have picked up a guitar and Iike strumming chords in random sequences. My voice is more confident and compassionate than ever before. I changed teams at work to work on helping the company grow internationally. There is fun in working with people from multiple countries. I am still discovering life.