One reason why I twitch at the thought of writing my opinions and sharing it online is because I don’t know what is perfect. Yet there is something inside me that starts crying as annoyingly as the most pissed off toddler you can imagine if it sees that what I did was not perfect. Of course, 2 years ago, I would have a hard time, and this inner toddler would wreck my confidence. Now I know a way or two to make this toddler quiet.
This toddler has a hunger for perfection and takes control of me whenever it can, using the classic fight and fight response patterns — yeah yeah, breathing shortens, belly takes a dive into a black hole, eyes stress, voice suffers and yes opinions come out like diarrhea. No news, I hate this side of me. Everyone has it and hates it when they realize it. But the toddler is inside, and you can’t get rid of it. The more you try to fight it, the stronger it comes back. Solution, live with it, like a mother lives with her annoying toddler. Of course this toddler can serve you good. It will save you when you are faced with a real tiger. But other times, you need a way to calm this thing down. Breathing is one way. When we take some time to take deeper breaths, hold it in for a while and exhale as long as we can, a few repetitions triggers the Autonomous Nervous System to shift a gear to rest and relax. And now we are able to see things more clearly. The fact that we had time to do this exercise was evidence that there was no real tiger, hence the toddler’s diarrhea of opinions were not useful at this point. This new state of mind, let us call it the wise old man or woman. It knows things from a wider perspective and lets just say for most situations other than survival, it makes more sense than the toddler.
Anyways, coming back to trying to make an imperfect world perfect. Politics is a prime example. The deeper we get, the more diarrhea we get. We don’t realize it but politics is an indirect world. There are several degrees of separation. It is like spending a lot of time on Twitter or Facebook, instead of meeting with people for real. Politics is like trying to solve real world problems without really being able to do anything about the problems directly. Hence it feels like a tiger, we feel helpless, and we have a diarrhea of opinions. There is nothing wrong with these opinions. The world is imperfect.
Another way of looking at the world, which I subscribe to more, is it is all about awareness. You bring change through awareness. Those who are receptive to your information see the world the same way as you do. Those who are not don’t. So this is not perfect either. But this scales better. It is easier to bring change when people feel the need for it from inside. For example, I learned meditation because I felt a need for it from inside. I felt like nothing external would give me real confidence to live in an uncertain world. So no wonder most people who meditate have suffered in some ways, and chanced upon this magic tool.
When things don’t work, it is just an experience. The only wise thing to do is accept it. With meditation, I can dis-entangle myself from the toddler mind. You get hurt not because something didn’t work out but because your breath is shallower, your heart rate is up, and this remains for extended periods of time. There is nothing wrong with this toddler either. But since you don’t have a tiger next to you, the toddler is not helping you.